Would You Like A...Erm...Toothaver?

Today I was flipping through all the papers we get in the mailbox, which show what is on sale at each shop in the area. I normally buzz through these pretty fast but since it is holiday time, I slowed down a bit keeping an eye out for interesting gifts for people.

It was a Makro (similar to Costco) ad that caught my attention. As I glanced at the surplus of electric toothbrushes on offer, I noticed one that seemed a bit odd...and that would be because it had not one but three toothbrush heads on it. Who in heaven's name would want a toothbrush with three heads on it, I began thinking only to realize that not only did it have three heads but it was also attached to a BRAUN shaver!

Clearly the lay-out people for Makro have been doing a little slacking off recently!! But if you are one of those multi-tasking people then this might be a gift for you to add to your Christmas list this year!

Happy Shavi...erm....brushing your teeth...

Cloggie In Training

Snapshot Of An Idiot

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Hehe...okay I admit this one made me laugh out loud. Since the photo is slightly too big feel free to click on the link. Otherwise, the text reads:

Idiot friends, everyone has one.

Happy laughing...

Cloggie In Training

A Random Conversation With A Stranger...About Paper Towel

Yesterday I was talking to one of my friends when she told me all about a website called Omegle. When you connect to Omegle, it picks another user at random, enabling you to have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, right down to you both appearing as "Stranger" on each other's screen.

Keen to try anything slightly unusual I quickly went to the website and connected with my first 'stranger', a guy in Sweden who doesn't work nor study but could do if he found anything that interested him...great, this was going to be a fun-filled conversation.

As he was ratteling off his life history to me, I was asking my friend what she talked about to these people. She responded something along the lines of "anything, it doesn't matter, they have no idea who you are". She then proceded to tell me some of the conversation start-up lines she had gone into conversations with. Nearly spitting my drink across the room in fits of laughter, whilst checking to make sure I hadn't missed anything important from Mr. Swedish Stranger, I suggested we should come up with a random topic and see who could get the most interesting conversation going. It took us awhile to come up with a random topic but inspired by a roll of paper towel on the dining room table, we settled on the topic of....paper towel.

Amazingly enough, not many people are as interested in paper towel as we were, with many people disconnecting our conversations but we did manage a couple of gems, which I have included below. So if you have some spare time and want something to do, pick a random topic and head on over to Omegle.

Happy chatting...

Cloggie In Training

My Paper Towel Boat Is Not Doing So Well - Conversation between Cloggie In Training and Stranger A

Stranger: hi

You: hi

You: how are you today?

Stranger: chinese?

Stranger: im ok

You: I love chinese food...its great

You: I'm a bit sad :(

Stranger: why?

You: I made a paper towel boat but it all fell apart when I put it in the water

You: :(

Stranger: ...

Stranger: thats so bad

You: what would you suggest for the next design?

Stranger: and where r u?

You: maybe I need to use a bad brand so it doesn't soak up so much water

You: Netherlands...loads of water here thats why I have to perfect my design

You: you?

Stranger: china

You: is there a lot of water there?

Stranger: yes

You: do you have a paper towel boat?

Stranger: 你要装B是吧

Stranger: 操

You: I am going to assume thats a yes

You: that you have a very big paper towel boat

Stranger: 。。

Stranger: are u insane

You: what brand of paper towel did you use?

You: because mine just fell to pieces

You: insane? no of course not

Stranger: i use shuermei

You: ah maybe that is where I went wrong

You: maybe you could send me some

Stranger: yes

Stranger: i think so

You: great!

You: send it to 123 Soggy Boat Lane

You: Paper Towel

You: Netherlands

You: no postcode is needed it will make it

Stranger: ok

Stranger: you are sb

Stranger: do you know

You: sb?

You: super brilliant?

Stranger: it meas man of genius

Stranger: i meas you are a man who are genius

Stranger: do you know?

Stranger: its a chinese

You: well thanks for that, I must go now...looking forward to receiving my paper towel...thanks again!

You have disconnected.

I Have A New Pet - A Conversation Between Cloggie In Training's Friend and Stranger B

You: hi!

Stranger: hey!

You: hows it going!

Stranger: good thanx! u?

You: great!

You: i just got a new paper towel!

Stranger: woooo! lol

You: want to hold him?

Stranger: yea

Stranger: lolol ths website is 2 funny!!!!!

You: isnt he so cute?

You: his name is beany btw

Stranger: lol gdgd

You: :/

You: he doesnt like you

Stranger: aww im upset now

Stranger: *cried*

You: well you could try feeding him a treat

Stranger: wot does he like

You: shoes

Stranger: heels?

You: no!

You: you want him to choke??

You: flats only

Stranger: wtf??!!?

Stranger: of course! sori i shoulda known

You: yeah well

You: no harm done

Stranger: is he liking the sun 2day

You: yeah

You: he hates the rain

You: obviously

Stranger: i hope he's got his sun cream on!

You: sun cream

You: on a paper towel?

You: you are just determined to kill him arent you

Stranger: yup

You: i cant understand if you dont personally like paper towels yourself

You: but that doesnt mean you have to go around killing everyone elses

Stranger: urm

Stranger:awww im sori

You: just get out

You: beany was right about you from the start

Stranger:lol i think he was

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sometimes It Just Doesn't Work

Anyone who has had a stab at translation work or even just attempted to translate something from one language to another for a friend, will know that it is not an easy job. There are always a few words and/or phrases that just don't match up. So it is of course always funny when you run across an example somewhere.

A little while back I went to the Beekse Bergen Safari Park for a birthday weekend. Beekse Bergen is a great place where you have the option of walking through the park, riding a boat through or driving your car through the AutoSafari. All three options take you to various parts of the park and you are able to do all three if you wish.

The day I went it was chucking it down with rain so we all chose the AutoSafari route. Before you enter you are given a piece of paper with all the 'rules' of going through. On one side the rules are printed in Dutch, on the other side you can find them in English. Things like 'animals have the right of way' and 'keep your windows closed'. But it was rule two that had me laughing.

"2. When your car breaks down stay in your car and beep your horn for help."

So there you have it. When you go through the AutoSafari at Beekse Bergen, it is guaranteed that your car WILL break down. It's all just a matter of time really.

Happy safari-ing...

Cloggie In Training

Lost In Translation

When I was living in the UK, I really missed American style bacon.  Most of the bacon in the UK resembled a huge slab of pork and there was no real way to get it all crispy like the thinner stuff does when you cook it.  So I was quite thrilled to find thin bacon in the Netherlands.  Here it is called 'ontbijtspek' which means 'breakfast bacon' and is found in the back of the shop where they slice up the fresh meats and cheeses.

It had been quite some time since I had bought any ontbijtspek so I asked Resident Cloggie to pick some up at the store.  This afternoon I pulled it out of the fridge ready to make a BLT (minus the T) and noticed it was a different type.

Me: Hey, this isn't ontbijtspek...it's a different type.

RC: Really?  Then they didn't have any of the other because that was all that they had displayed.

Me: It says 'katenspek'.

RC: (long pause) Oh, (mumble)  you know what that means?

And that is when I thought about what the word might really meant.  Katenspek means nothing in Dutch but Kattenspek (which it sounds very close to) - literally translated is Cats Bacon (katten = cats, spek = bacon).

Me: Ewww gross, it's not cat is it?  It doesn't look like cat.  It isn't is it??

RC: No of course not.

Me: Well you never know, why do they call it that?

RC:  No idea.

So later I did some google searching and found out that Katenspek is actually German.  The German word 'Kate' is kinda like a little hut.  And because some Germans didn't have very much money they ate this type of bacon and stored it in this little hut place.

So it all makes sense now and I can sleep without nightmares.  It also shows that Dutch and German have a lot of what they call 'false friends' - words that are similar but mean very different things! 

And by the way, I still like ontbijtspek better!

Cloggie In Training

The Abandoned Village of Doel

Urban Exploring - the name in itself conjures up all sorts of ideas and it wasn't until I came across this site that I realized it might be something for me.

By definition, urban exploring is the examination of the normally unseen or off-limit parts of urban areas or industrial facilities.  Think abandoned properties, disused hospitals or closed factories and you are thinking along the right track.  At first thought you might be thinking "boring" or even "why would I want to look at that?" but when you glance at the images you realize there is something exciting and intriguing about viewing things you shouldn't really have access to.  A bit like looking in the windows of other people's properties.  And urban exploring is becoming a big deal.

So when I was invited by a fellow IMAGES photo club member to go to the mainly abandoned village of Doel, very near Antwerp in Belgium, I jumped at the chance.

Doel is a 700 year old village on the river Scheldt.  Near to the local nuclear power plant, with its two giant cooling towers, it became the target for demolition not once but twice in order to make way for the ever expanding harbor.  The successful protest groups of the seventies could not compete in the 90's and as residents began to leave, the government refused to rent out the properties again and instead let them fall into disrepair.

On the 23rd of March 2007, the government decided that the village would be demolished by 2009 and in June 2008, residents received a letter informing them that they were to vacate their homes by the 1st of September 2009. 

Walking through the village is an interesting activity, with the majority of houses being quite clearly abandoned - broken windows, empty rooms and open doors all hinting that the occupants have gone away.  Although there are still a few hardcore residents remaining so looking out for the 'gewoond' sign in the front window is essential.  Inside the houses varies from utter destruction and graffiti to others where it looks like the occupant has just gone out to the shop and will be back shortly.  Wandering around inside is rather spooky and not for the faint-hearted (unless you have someone with you who is willing to clear the cobwebs, check if there is anything you need to be alerted to and confirm that it is actually worth going inside - luckily I had one of those people with me :) ).  There are some hazards such as broken glass, rotted floorboards and missing handrails but all in all it is on the mild end of the spectrum for urban exploring.

In total I spent just over six hours in the village and there was still more to see but if you want to visit then you need to do so soon as the hours sadly seem to be running out for the village of Doel and its residents.

For photos please visit my flickr site or my main photography website.

Happy exploring!

Cloggie In Training

The Evil World of Flickr

I am in a very nasty place at the moment and it is called Flickr Hell! Now please do not get me wrong, I really like Flickr but there comes a time in your relationship with Flickr that you start to wish you knew more about it when you first signed up than you do one year down the line when everything is a big mess.

Originally I had just chucked everything on Flickr, blurry photos and all, using it as a kind of back up space from which I could bombard people with links to look at my gazillions of photos. And while this worked for awhile I soon learned that this is a big "no-no" in the Flickr world. You see, there comes a time when you no longer want the general public, let alone your family and friends, looking at your rubbish, blurry photos and while you may enjoy the 2000 zoo photos that you have, a prospective client or even your nearest and dearest friend will not. By photo 34 they are tuning out and looking elsewhere.

And so comes the dreaded task of trying to clean up the mess you have made. At first I thought I could keep the sets I have and just mark the good photos for public viewing and the not so brilliant ones for private viewing - thus keeping a minimum number of sets but still having the public/private divide. However Flickr doesn't seem to have any function for you to be able to easily and quickly see which photos are marked at which level without opening them all up, creating an ever present feeling of unease with "oh crap was that marked public?" running through your head. So then I tried the private/public set version, where you set up double sets for each original set - one for the public (with your good photos) and one for yourself (with all the other photos that didn't quite make the grade). But this just creates a huge number of sets that makes you never want to log into your account again (it would be great if you could select views, e.g. see only public sets).

So now I am stuck and starting to think that clearing my account and uploading everything afresh, while laborious and quite obviously a pain in the ass, would at least be easier than trying to shuffle things round, which is currently like moving furniture in a room too small to do so.

So if you know of a brilliant way to organize Flickr then let me know your thoughts, otherwise I am off to stare at the screen again...

Cloggie In Training